H. D. NICOLAY

H. D. Nicolay - Experienced Family Coach

empowering families to live happier, fulfilling lives. With over 20 years of experience, I provide customized coaching services for families, both in-person and online. By involving all family members in coaching sessions, we work together towards a common goal of improving family dynamics. My coaching approach emphasizes open, respectful communication and solution-oriented thinking. I help parents and children identify individual needs and integrate them into their daily lives. Together, we create a personalized agreement that aligns with the family's values and goals, leading to a happier and more fulfilling life.

My unconventional career path

has been shaped by my personal experiences and education, and my BIO highlights some of these formative milestones. I take pride in my long list of satisfied families, which serves as a testament to the effectiveness of my coaching approach. Partner with me today and take the first step towards a happier and more fulfilling family life.

Childhood and career choices

 My life's journey began with a childhood dream of becoming a priest. The atmosphere and energy of churches fascinated me, and I was drawn to them. Unfortunately, I was refused entry into the priesthood due to spelling mistakes in my entrance exam. This experience left me lost and without direction in life. I struggled to figure out what I wanted to do and which profession to pursue.

During this period of uncertainty, my academic performance suffered, and I fell in with a group of rebellious friends who challenged societal norms and sometimes broke the law. Concerned for my well-being, my parents encouraged me to study computer science, citing its future potential and financial stability. Despite having no particular interest in the field, I followed their advice and pursued the course.

After graduating, I founded an electronic security systems company, where I developed and patented innovative solutions. My company grew, and I employed ten people while achieving financial success. Despite my achievements, I still felt unfulfilled, and my childhood dream of becoming a priest continued to linger.

The journey from a lost and uncertain young man to a successful entrepreneur was a challenging one, but it taught me the importance of persistence, resilience, and having a supportive network. My experiences have given me a unique perspective on life and have influenced my coaching approach to help others find their purpose and pursue their passions.

From Illness to Purpose

My Journey of Self-Discovery.

At the height of my professional success, I was struck by a severe illness that left me fighting for my life. It was during this near-death experience that I realized I was living in the wrong movie – that my career in the technical field was making me miserable. If I wanted to truly heal, I had to find my true talents and purpose in life.

My journey towards self-discovery began during my stay in a holistic private clinic, where I confronted the central questions of life: What is illness? What is health? What is the purpose of life, and how do we find it? I delved deep into the study of psychosomatic and body therapy, which helped me develop a better understanding of myself and my inner workings.

As I explored my true passions, I gradually found my way toward a more fulfilling path in life. I began to feel a renewed sense of strength and confidence, which inspired me to share my journey with others.

Today, as a coach and mentor, I draw upon my own experiences to help others navigate their own paths toward self-discovery and purpose. I firmly believe that with the right guidance and support, anyone can overcome life's challenges and live a fulfilling and purposeful life.

Path to becoming a family therapist and education consultant

Becoming a family therapist and education consultant involved selling my company, creating my own study and training plan, and seeking out renowned authorities in psychology, neurology, communication, behavioral therapy, education, and spiritual scholars. From this, I developed my individual, holistic family and pedagogical concepts, which have proven successful in family therapies, school classes, and training courses since 1996.

Since 1996, I have been providing family therapies, teaching courses for therapists and teachers, and leading training sessions for schools, both in Germany and abroad. At the beginning of my work, I had to overcome the challenge of institutions recognizing my practical experience and successes instead of focusing on the lack of titles. Today, my methods have been validated and have proven to be effective in numerous settings.

The path to becoming a family therapist and education consultant has been a journey of self-discovery and continuous learning. Following a near-death experience and a realization that I was in the wrong profession, I sold my successful company and embarked on a new life devoted to helping others find their way.

Financial independence gave me the freedom to create a personalized study and training plan, which included traveling to different countries around the world for education. While at the Universities of Berkeley and Santa Cruz in California, USA, I learned about humanistic and transpersonal psychology. However, I soon realized that I needed more than just lectures to develop my expertise.

To achieve my goals, I sought out renowned authorities in various fields such as psychology, neurology, communication and behavioral therapy, education, and spiritual scholars. What mattered to me was not what people said or claimed to do, but what they did and the results they achieved. Hence, I immersed myself in their therapy rooms, seminars, and classrooms, and even lived with them to acquire their abilities.

Through this process, I developed my own unique, holistic family and pedagogical concepts that are tailored to the German social and educational system. Although I did not attend any pedagogical or humanities universities or hold any relevant degree or title, my practical experience and proven successes speak for themselves.

Excerpt of my studies and training

I pursued studies in Humanistic Psychology and Neurology at the University of Berkeley and Santa Cruz in the USA. I received training in family therapy from experts such as Jesper Juul and Virginia Satir. Additionally, I have extensive training in Non-Violent Communication from Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Nada Ignjatovic, and Christa Mor.

I studied Transpersonal Psychology from notable figures such as Dr. Stan Grof and Jiddu Krishnamurti. Furthermore, I have training in Communication and Behavioral Patterns from experts such as Dr. Michael Grinder, Robert Dilts, and Tony Robbins.

I received training in releasing blockages in the spinal column and nervous system from Dr. M. McBride and Dr. M. Fleischer. I have also studied Iyengar yoga with Aadil Palkhivala, Michael Forbes, and others.

Furthermore, I received meditation training at Zen Monastery Obama in Japan and various Vipassana Centers worldwide.

Three teachers who shaped my way of life and work

There have been three teachers who have greatly influenced my life and work. Their teachings have impacted me in a profound way and continue to guide my path to this day. I am forever grateful for their wisdom and guidance.

Jesper Juul / Familientherapeut